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Liberals Consider Finally Dropping Their Habitual Nazi Name-Calling

by William Satire -- June 9, 2006 at 3:07 pm | In Farticles | No Comments

Spolitics.com has learned that many grassroots Democratic activists and politicos attended a large gathering in Las Vegas in which they discussed whether or not they should drop their oft-used Nazi epithet when attacking Republicans.

“I love the Nazi line,” said one activist who preferred not to be named. “You don’t have to know anything about the issues or understand logic. You can just call them a Nazi.”

“But do you think that’s an effective way to address the issues,” I asked.

“What are you, a Nazi?!” the activist responded.

Some more seasoned political operatives argued that liberals should drop their knee-jerk Nazi-name-calling habits. “The Nazis were so nineteenth-century,” said one aspiring talk show host. “We have to show people that we’re the party of the twentieth century.”

Many liberals feel that, while it was effective at first, the Nazi attack has begun to be less effective. For starters, many people now realize that the Nazis were socialists (Nazi is short for National Socialists) who actually advocated big government and many of the same programs Democrats champion today. These similarities muddy the analogy.

However, the biggest problem was that the line was overused. Almost no liberal who made a television or radio appearance could resist calling someone or some policy a Nazi.

“People don’t know what we stand for. All the know is that we think 51% of the country are Nazis. That’s not a good line for us,” said one Democrat.

The problem now, Democratic leaders readily acknowledge, is the gaping hole that is left by abandoning the epithet. “Many of our supporters have a knowledge deficit and the Nazi attack helped fill that gap,” said one leader. “If we go through with this and stop calling Republicans Nazis, we’re going to have to come up with something to fill that gap.”

But don’t expect the knowledge gap to be filled with an agenda or party platform. “We’ve managed to build a lot of excitement around the idea of calling Republican “Dumbos.” Get it? Because their both elephants and dumb? It tested very well. We’re in negotiations with Disney for the rights.”