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Clinton in Horserace with Undecided in Michigan
By William Satire
WASHINGTON D.C. - In Michigan, Hillary Clinton is in close race with the
only other choice on the ballot: Undecided. According to early exit polls,
Clinton is leading handily amongst female voters. However, Undecided is
posting a strong lead amongst voters concerned about having a decisive
leader in Washington. Also, according to the polls, Undecided was
considered more electable than the junior senator from New York and more
trustworthy on terrorism and national defense.
“Undecided has been consistent on the war in Iraq,” said one of the
respondents. “Clinton has not.”
However, Clinton is gaining support from people concerned about the
economy. “Clinton has promised to cut me a check if elected President. My
vote is for sale and she named my price.”
Should Undecided win in Michigan, it would make three different winners in
the first three primaries and toss the race into a tight three-way fight for the
nomination. After all, John McCain only won a small handful of delegates in
New Hampshire — less than Romney won in Wyoming — but it didn’t
prevent the press from anointing him the new front runner. With all the free
press that would accompany a win, Undecided is sure to get a post-
Michigan bump.
In a sign that Undecided is gaining steam nationwide, the Obama campaign,
fresh from a truce with Clinton, turned his sights on the relatively unknown
candidate. “With Undecided, voters would just get more of the divisive
politics that have marked Washington over the past decade and a half,” said
one Obama aide who asked not to be named. “Plus, we’re pretty sure
Undecided is a racist.”
Undecided could not be reached for comment.
* Exit polls were taken outside of a McDonald’s in D.C., not a Michigan
precinct.
By William Satire
WASHINGTON D.C. - In Michigan, Hillary Clinton is in close race with the
only other choice on the ballot: Undecided. According to early exit polls,
Clinton is leading handily amongst female voters. However, Undecided is
posting a strong lead amongst voters concerned about having a decisive
leader in Washington. Also, according to the polls, Undecided was
considered more electable than the junior senator from New York and more
trustworthy on terrorism and national defense.
“Undecided has been consistent on the war in Iraq,” said one of the
respondents. “Clinton has not.”
However, Clinton is gaining support from people concerned about the
economy. “Clinton has promised to cut me a check if elected President. My
vote is for sale and she named my price.”
Should Undecided win in Michigan, it would make three different winners in
the first three primaries and toss the race into a tight three-way fight for the
nomination. After all, John McCain only won a small handful of delegates in
New Hampshire — less than Romney won in Wyoming — but it didn’t
prevent the press from anointing him the new front runner. With all the free
press that would accompany a win, Undecided is sure to get a post-
Michigan bump.
In a sign that Undecided is gaining steam nationwide, the Obama campaign,
fresh from a truce with Clinton, turned his sights on the relatively unknown
candidate. “With Undecided, voters would just get more of the divisive
politics that have marked Washington over the past decade and a half,” said
one Obama aide who asked not to be named. “Plus, we’re pretty sure
Undecided is a racist.”
Undecided could not be reached for comment.
* Exit polls were taken outside of a McDonald’s in D.C., not a Michigan
precinct.
