|
Climatologists Warn Of Dangerous Hot Spot
by Vic Lefrans
PARIS - Climatologists
warn that a dangerous
pocket of hot air is acc-
umulating around Wash-
ington DC. While the
“hot spot”, as its called,
is nothing new to DC,
climatologists have not-
iced the phenomenon appears to be increasing at an alarming rate.
Two and Four-Year Cycles
“In 2000 we measured a dramatic increase in the amount of hot air
circulating Washington DC,” states one climatologist who prefers
not to be named, fearing it could affect his funding. According to
the scientist, they measured an equally dramatic increase in 2004.
They also saw a significant increase in 2002, just not as large as
those registered in 2000 and 2004.
“Based on our models, we can identify a large four-year cycle and
a more moderate, but still significant, two-year cycle,” he says.
According to the computer models tracking the phenomenon, the
hot air increases steadily, until early November when the hot air
drops back to normal levels almost overnight.
Alarming Increases
The problem, according to these climatologists, is that they have
noted alarming increases in the levels associated with the coming
two-year cycle. “According to our calculations, the amount of hot
air gathering in DC this year could rival the record amounts we
saw in 2004,” says our source.
Catastrophic Results
All cities form relative “hot spots,” however, if these
accumulations of hot air get large enough and hot enough, they
could drastically effect local weather patterns with catastrophic
results. Climatologists believe the hot spot around DC is
approaching such precarious levels.
“These pockets of hot air attract clouds. If our calculations are
correct, a pocket of hot air this large could drastically increase the
cloud cover over our nation’s capital and increase tornado
activity. If that’s the case, we’re in for dark and stormy days.”
Bush’s Fault?
While the scientists are still uncertain whether or not the hot spot
will reach this apocalyptic level in 2006, they believe it will be
unavoidable at the height of the four-year hot-air cycle in 2008.
“Unfortunately the Bush Administration is not giving us the funding
we need to adequately study this phenomenon, so it remains
largely a mystery,” states the climatologist. “If only we could get
the money we need, perhaps something could be done to stop the
accumulation of all this hot air.”
by Vic Lefrans
PARIS - Climatologists
warn that a dangerous
pocket of hot air is acc-
umulating around Wash-
ington DC. While the
“hot spot”, as its called,
is nothing new to DC,
climatologists have not-
iced the phenomenon appears to be increasing at an alarming rate.
Two and Four-Year Cycles
“In 2000 we measured a dramatic increase in the amount of hot air
circulating Washington DC,” states one climatologist who prefers
not to be named, fearing it could affect his funding. According to
the scientist, they measured an equally dramatic increase in 2004.
They also saw a significant increase in 2002, just not as large as
those registered in 2000 and 2004.
“Based on our models, we can identify a large four-year cycle and
a more moderate, but still significant, two-year cycle,” he says.
According to the computer models tracking the phenomenon, the
hot air increases steadily, until early November when the hot air
drops back to normal levels almost overnight.
Alarming Increases
The problem, according to these climatologists, is that they have
noted alarming increases in the levels associated with the coming
two-year cycle. “According to our calculations, the amount of hot
air gathering in DC this year could rival the record amounts we
saw in 2004,” says our source.
Catastrophic Results
All cities form relative “hot spots,” however, if these
accumulations of hot air get large enough and hot enough, they
could drastically effect local weather patterns with catastrophic
results. Climatologists believe the hot spot around DC is
approaching such precarious levels.
“These pockets of hot air attract clouds. If our calculations are
correct, a pocket of hot air this large could drastically increase the
cloud cover over our nation’s capital and increase tornado
activity. If that’s the case, we’re in for dark and stormy days.”
Bush’s Fault?
While the scientists are still uncertain whether or not the hot spot
will reach this apocalyptic level in 2006, they believe it will be
unavoidable at the height of the four-year hot-air cycle in 2008.
“Unfortunately the Bush Administration is not giving us the funding
we need to adequately study this phenomenon, so it remains
largely a mystery,” states the climatologist. “If only we could get
the money we need, perhaps something could be done to stop the
accumulation of all this hot air.”
| The stories on Spolitics.com are made up for entertainment purposes. Spolitics maintains that nothing on this site is accurate. Anything that happens to be accurate is purely accidental, coincidental or both and Spolitics will fire the writer responsible. Copyright © 2006 Spolitics.com. All Rights Reserved. |
| Climatologists warn hot air will soon smother DC |